Girls, Boys and Babies

Frist there were girls...
She won't sit next to me at lunch anymore...

Then, there were boys...
He didn't ask me to the dance. I am hideous...

Later, there were still girls...
She's so bitchy since she lost all that weight...

And still boys...
He says he loves me, so why, GOD DAMMIT won't he commit...

And then there are babies - or at least the idea of babies...
I want a whole houseful...
One or two would be nice...
I am adoption-only - no stretch marks for me...
If the right guy came along...
I am hitting up a sperm bank...
Maybe, eventually...
Kids are for underachievers...

Then, there were girls and boys and babies...
I want a houseful - he wants a dog...how's this for a compromise? - a cat and three kids...
One or two would be nice, but he's talking 5...hello have we met? I am your wife? Do like when I shower?
I'd like us to adopt - he calls me Angelina ...I am starting to think he is not right for me...
The "One" never seems to come along... I am thinking of taking up yoga...
A sperm bank sounded great in grad school, but now, I don't know...
I think 'maybe, eventually' has become 'maybe never'...
Is The Job really everything - play dates sound fun...

And still there are girls...
There goes super-woman- great job, great guy, great kids. I hate her.

And boys...
He actually told me I looked fat in it! I am hideous and he is doomed!

And yes, eventually, not just the idea of babies, but babies...
Such a joy...
Amazing...life changing...
I can't imagine a life without each one...
I am so glad they are not mine...
Please pass the scotch...(she's teething)